I bet you are all wondering where I have been, and to be honest, I've been nowhere. Just school and the normal stuff that I do in my life. Except I knew I needed a short break from blogging, which I will get on to in a moment. Believe it or not, this has been the longest I have ever gone without blogging, mostly because I would never let myself rest from blogging for so long. This time however, I really needed a break otherwise I think I may have exploded, plus, I blog for fun, therefore I shouldn't have to put loads of pressure on myself to do it.
Let's just say the last few weeks have been hard. I think things have just slowly built up inside me, and although I had a great half term break the things I pushed aside during it made me forget that school isn't so easy, you do have to work hard, and sometimes things won't go to plan. In sixth form things are very different, and I think that part of what had been making me feel so pooey is not having the same people around me to give me a bit of motivation to feel happy and excited for things.
Generally, if you know me well I am a very excitable person, this can have it's pros as well as cons. I always look forward to everything, but most of the time I get very nervous too, even for the smallest of things. I do think that nervousness and overthinking is fairly normal for someone my age, but I guess I just felt that way a bit too much recently. Why? I'm not 100% sure, and it was making me not 100% enjoy things that were going on.
Yes, a few things happened, I got hit by a bike, I got declined from a job interview which I got into the very last process for, I lost a 10,000 word essay *I'm still annoyed about that*, I found out my friends were going to a concert that I couldn't afford the day before my birthday and I managed to fall out with a friend which never happens. I kind of stopped enjoying the little things, and became quite negative, and every single day I would think of something new to add to my list of reasons to feel like rubbish.
For the last few days however I thought to myself "What is the point of feeling sorry for myself anymore? Has anything that has happened really been that bad? I'm sure I can do other great things and not feel so crap about what is going on!" And from that point things have been going great... I played house dodgeball and we won, I helped out with one of the Sixth Form Christmas projects, I helped with the collection for Children In Need on Friday dressed as Supergirl and had a really fun day. I've planned a lovely evening out with my bestfriend that I barely see anymore for next week. I booked my first driving lessons. I am going to Choccywoccydoodah in 6 months time *I had to add that in there*. And instead of going to the concert which I would've found far too stressful anyway, I am going with my mum to see Paul Hollywood on tour; it may seem strange but it will be something that I'll enjoy more.
I think that it is important to remember that no matter how rubbish you feel, most of the time it is the way you are perceiving things that is making you feel like that. It is okay to have a few down days, it is okay to admit you haven't been feeling yourself. But, it is not okay to keep letting it bring you down, to the point that you feel stressed all of the time. Stuff *I didn't want to swear* happens! Part of our journey in life is to go through bad times, so that we grow as people, but also appreciate the great times better.
No one ever said life is easy, and no one ever said that you would always be fine. But, one thing someone did say is that, "The most important thing is to enjoy life- to be happy- it's all that matters." -Audrey Hepburn.